Who Am I?

In order to cleanse the awful taste of Kung Fu Chefs from my mouth, I had to watch one of my favorite Jackie Chan films. I've reviewed this movie a bunch of times on this site. I'm not going to do it again. I skip the first 15 minutes now, when I watch this film and get right to the road rally race portion. After watching it 20 times, can you blame me?

Gong fu chu shen (Kung Fu Chefs)

Sammo Hung and a few other no namers take on the world of Iron Chef cookery and kung fu nonsense is the epileptic story with two many themes to count. Siu-Lung Leung makes a small appearance as Sammo Hung's estranged brother. Illogic and poor writing stars throughout the film.

Only three fight scenes. All of them good.

Vitus

Vitus is a German film about a young boy whose IQ is beyond measure and the complications that arise from a world that bores him.

He's a masterful piano player and everything he tries to do, he masters effortlessly. The movie meanders during ACT II and then comes together in the end. It's really good.

And for a German film, it's quite emotional. I was impressed.

The movie is not about expert film techniques, lighting, and cheoreography. But it is about story and narrative. Which are really important to me.

I.O.U.S.A.

Another of the many documentaries about debt and fiscal irresponsibility.

It is the best made of these, but other than the information about Medicare, there's nothing new here.

In fact, what's obvious to me about this documentary is that young people aren't going to foot the bill of Medicare twenty years from now; so this really won't cripple the government the way the documentary insists it will.

But yeah, the American economy is THAT screwed. If you haven't watched any of these kinds of documentaries, this is the one to watch.

Sword of the Stranger

I saw this in theatres before during that one day extravoganza. And my opinion has not changed. Unless improving is change.

Fantastic. I wish all anime was this good.

Watched it twice in fact, before sending it back to Netflix.

So. Frickin. Good.

My Brother's Keeper

Done in the style of an Errol Morris documentary…

This acclaimed documentary explores the odd world of the four elderly Ward brothers -- illiterate farmers who have lived their entire lives in a dilapidated two-room shack. When William Ward dies in the bed he shared with his brother Delbert, the police become suspicious. Citing motives ranging from sex crime to euthanasia, they arrest Delbert for murder, penetrating the isolated world that left "the boys" forgotten eccentrics for many years.

Not the quality of Errol Morris, to be sure, but a gripping story. Highly recommended.

I can't say much more without giving away the plot. The documentary is over 10 years old, so bear that in mind.

Surveillance

When you think of the kind of movie David Lynch's daughter might make about a pair of serial killers who terrorize a small town, you might envision something like Surveillance. What you don't expect is that Jennifer Chambers Lynch might just be better at this than her father.

And that's saying something.

Surveillance cannot be defined in simple jargon. It is not a movie for the masses. It is not a film for anyone with sensibilities, ego, children, or perhaps… even a soul. This movie is that depraved, awkward, distressing, and majestic all at the same time. If Old Boy is one of the greatest vengeance films of all time, then certainly someone should examine which genre Surveillance is the greatest film (in).

The movie preys upon many factors: perspective, power, and tone. The perspective of each character comes into question (most strikingly by the film styles revealing their accounts of the murder). The power of those who have it and those who do not. The murders are not merely acts of violence but demonstrations of helplessness. The cops themselves abuse their power, to vile ends, showing that no one is this film is worthy of redemption.

Finally, there's the tone of the film, which keeps the viewer constantly on edge and distressed by what is going on. This tone is exacerbated by two factors. One, the cops are reprehensible figures who deserve nothing more than death at their abuses. Two, the actors, all playing at different tones and values throughout the film, each almost working in their own one-man show. The casting is perfect for this in fact. No greater example of this exist then the first time Julia Ormand, Bill Pullman, and Michael Ironside all stand in a hallway together, awkwardly redacting lines and blocking to create a melange of disjointedness — making the audience feel fitful about the events taking place (which again brings us back to perspective).

On the surface it would appear that Lynch is just trying to freak us out with gore, and the "making of on the DVD" certainly adds to this pallor. But this is just a bait and switch technique to distract us from the true themes of the film.

I haven't been this impressed in a long time. Movies like this just don't exist.

Disclaimer: Seriously. If you think Ice Cube/Eddie Murphy/Chevy Chase is funny or you enjoy romantic stories from the makers of the McConaughey-Bullock-Lopez-Aniston nonsense machine, do not see this film.

Mou Gaan Dou (Infermal Affairs)

The punny title of the American release makes my skin crawl with stupidity, but I had to watch the movie Departed was based on. And while not as good as Scorsese's version, it holds its own.

And it's obvious Scorsese watched this version. Many tropes are used wholesale and other ideas are just dropped or improved.

Tony Leung Chiu Wai (from Hard Boiled) once again plays a deep undercover agent, only this time the focus is a little less action-oriented and more on the drama of being removed from polite society for ten years.

If you've seen Departed, I recommend this, just to see how high production values and a strong script can improve on an already good idea.

As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me

Clemens Forell, a German soldier during WW II, is sentenced to a labour camp in far east Siberia by the victorious Russian army. After four years working in the mines he escapes from the camp (in 1949) travelling 14,000 kilometers, to reach his family.

And yes, it's as good as it sounds.

Vanguard pictures is known for low-budget, off the beaten track films. And this one is really good, despite the poor-lighting, awful action scenes, and sometimes poor acting. It does have Irina Pantaeva however, so I can't complain... I have a new crush.

Some plot threads are just dropped and the Russian commander who chases him just gets silly after a while. Luckily, they know how to focus the attention to the film. What the movie lacked, however, was a better explanation of the geography he was in. Even though it's a German movie, set in the old USSR, I'm not sure I could place exactly what land they were in at times.

Whatever Works

Sigh.

It's been a long ride of bad "comedies" as Woody Allen cranks out another Woody Allen movie. While not as painful of some of his previous work, it once again involves an old man with a young woman, infidelity, and mindless banter. This one adds a threesome, gay marriage, and a "genius" of quantum mechanics (David) that you can see the actor even getting tired of playing.

Patricia Clarkson (god bless her) even tries to make sense of the film's meandering and pedantic script, but she can't. Ed Begley Jr. also appears in the most contrived of roles. What was he thinking?