31 December 2005

Movie #10


Snatch. I waited forever to see this movie. And I'm a moron for doing it.

Oh.

My.

God.

Awesome.

My first search on google for snatch went horribly wrong.


Just awesome.

I wish I could write this well. Hell, this movie makes me wish I could write. Incredible movie making. Dialog. Pacing. Characters. Writing. Acting. Dialog. Action. And the Dialog. Just Brilliant.

Guy Ritchie (director) takes a lot of crap for his marriage and a couple of the really, really, really bad movies he's made.

But f-me, if this isn't the best thing to come out of England... ever. And that includes the rabble that left for Plymouth Rock.


Easily, my favorite character is Bullet-Tooth Tony. The way the movie is designed is that every character gets BIGGER than the previous. Just when you think X is the biggest bad ass there is, X+1 shows up. Then X+2 and finally, X-squared with Tony, who has some of the best dialog in thr world (none of which I can post because it's naughty).

That doesn't mean the Bullet-Dodge, Turkish, Tommy, and the Piker aren't the tits either. They are. But, Tony is just... it's like drinking a pure glass of moxie and turning to face the camera with a mouth full of dentene gleam wrapped in carnuba wax and then chiselled into the statue of David and pressed into $100 bills.

Crisp ones.

Yet another movie where Brad Pitt is elevated to star in the marketing.

Of course, like anything with Brad Pitt in it (he's in 3 of my top 10 and no, I'm not gay), the focus of the advertising is on someone who is NOT the star of the movie. In fact, Brad is a plot device. His dialog is pure gibberish and he's just comic relief in-between the actually hard-nosed humor of the rest of the movie.

I like him in this movie, but I really wish it were someone else playing this character... just to put a more fresh and realistic face on the movie.

Have you seen this scene? Genius. God. Just genius.
I hate people that are smarter than me.


What else can I say about this movie? Um. The fat getaway driver. The four jewish thieves. Benecio del Toro in anything. A villain that is pure vile personified crap. Dennis Farina finally plays a character I don't want to boil in acid. So. Good.

I can't say much more without giving things away. Rest assured, this movie does not disappoint. Screw it. I'm putting it in, right now.

Bullet-Tooth Tony is my hero.

Quote: You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?

27 December 2005

Movie #9


Excalibur. John's Boorman's vision of Arthur and one of my first introductions into the myth as a kid (although I'd already read a lot of books about arthur and seen the Camelot musical). I was young enough that this movie not only shaped my vision of arthur, but also of dark fantasy.

This movie really captures the id in me. The movie itself is good, but not normally top10 worthy. But damn... just look at merlin.



I think the tale of Arthur is classic. The frame of the story captures all the epic elements. And Excalibur is by far the only movie about Arthur worth watching.

Hint. Hint.

Boorman's visuals span the range of darkness and light... when Percival seeks the grail... "You and the land are one"... the crows and the tower and the dreadwood forest... gah. All so bleak.

And the Arthur drinks from the cup and BAM!!!

The forest comes alive. The petals fall from the trees. Carl Orff's Carmina Burana O Fortuna kicks in and ... if you don't get chills as the horses come around the treeline... well... then... you suck.

The final battle is amazing and the fog is so thick, you can't see anything, which to this day I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. And Mordred and Arthur... so good.



What else can I say about it?

It's gritty british fantasy... the way I like it. Even the magic is subtle. Just putting someone to sleep, requires a complex ritual.

And I'm nerd enough to have memorized the ritual too.

This is the movie that would make me want to play D&D, if I didn't already.

Sadly, Boorman is an extremely boring british gentleman. So listening to the chatter on the DVD will literally put you to sleep. So. Don't do it.

Btw. If you didn't know it already, Patrick Stewart, Liam Neeson, Nigel Terry, Helen Mirren, Nicol Williamson, and Gabriel Byrne are all in the movie ... long before they were big. However, Keith Buckley as Uriyens is probably my favorite background character.

Quote: That's it... and look upon this moment. Savor it! Rejoice with great gladness! Great gladness! Remember it always, for you are joined by it. You are One, under the stars. Remember it well, then... this night, this great victory. So that in the years ahead, you can say, 'I was there that night, with Arthur, the King!' For it is the doom of men that they forget.