08 February 2009

Men of War

John Sayles writes the original script (before two yahoos step in) to Men of War. This movie came out back in 1994, which is when I originally saw it. The first 75 minutes or so are really good. Seriously. It's weird how good this film starts out.

Yes. The director didn't really read the script and kinda throws in random stupid into the film (Dolph Lundgren puts a guy's head through a limo window… just because).

Possibly a great film before someone else gets their hands on it, this movie is 1/2 intelligently written plot and exposition… and 1/2 stupid explosions. The list of things wrong with the second half of this film makes my head hurt. The amount of cool in the first 1/2 makes me wish they'd do a remake of the plot with someone that has a brain… director, actor, whatever. The amount of sad makes me wish I hadn't rented it again.

Stupidest Moment: Po (played by B.D. Wong) explains in detail how the dead who died in battle years before (centuries?) get buried in the cave underground (which rarely gets used after that, so what the heck?). And then, at the end of the film, when it's time to bury the dead who died in THIS battle, they put them on boats, set them on fire, and put them in the ocean. Oh yeah. That's some good direction.

Director Idiot: "It's sunny outside today. Let's film this last bit on the beach."
Assistant: "Um. Didn't Po explain about —"
Director Idiot: "I said, it's sunny. Set up shots facing the beach."
Assistant: "Facing? But aren't the boats —"
Director Idiot: "Yeah. We'll pick up some shots of the ocean afterward."
Assistant: "After? When it's dark? I thought you wanted to take advantage of the sun?"
Director Idiot: "Now. Where's my martini?"