06 June 2010

Julia

Clocking in at nearly two and half hours, this character study turns into a plotted tale around hour one... and takes you on a ride of poor decision-making via Tilda Swinton's starring role.

I can't tell you what to make of this. I know it's nerve-wracking watching someone make so many bad decisions for so long. This one may or may not be for you. It was enjoyable, but excruciating at the same time.

Everyone is really good in the film, at the very least.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Top ten reasons you should avoid this movie.

One. Let's stop making video games into movies. Video Games are better produced, more controlled productions with bigger budgets, better voice actors, great stories, and immersive worlds.

Two. Movies have none of that.

Three. Especially Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

Four. Or movies from this joke of a director, Mike Newell (who also made Mona Lisa Smile apparently).

Five. Jordan Mechner's video game story was amazing and still resonates among video game players.

Six. Why did they rewrite it?

Seven. Was it a good idea to hire Boaz Yakin (Dirty Dancing 2) to fix the original script? And then Doug Miro (The Great Raid), and Carlo Bernard to work collaboratively?

Eight. Which of those three mental giants decided to add Ostrich racing, assassins, two brothers (who do not exist in the original story), small business owner commentary on taxation, and events that would lead to the dagger (plot of the story) changing hands five times during the course of the adventure?

Nine. Why would you give away key details (like the dagger resetting time back as far as you'd like) half-way through the film so there's no tension over any of the characters dying?!?!

Ten. Why would you take such a fantastic video game and change everything about it?

Finally, I love Alfred Molina, but was he allowed on set when other scenes were being filmed? Because I don't think he's playing in the same movie that you and I are watching. In fact, he's doing everything he can to make this film even worse. The dialog was atrocious from round 1 and the movie just got worse and worse and worse.

It's not even a fun day out kind of movie. It's a bus full of special needs kids going over a cliff, very very very slowly.

Rolling Stone magazine gave this movie 2.5 stars... I assume that's out of 20.