the celluloid closet

Fat Head

2011-03-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

Great information about how saturated fats are good for you and how carbohydrates work in your body. Otherwise, it's exactly the documentary you'd expect from a computer programmer trying to tackle one aspect of Super-Size Me that he didn't like.

Go into this one knowing the author had blinders on about the food industry and obviously doesn't do much research except for the one thing that bothered him.

Freakanomics

2011-03-23T05:11:00.001-07:00

The book was better. But if you don't like to read, just watch the part about crime.

The Men Who State at Goats

2011-03-23T05:10:00.000-07:00

Unwatchable.

Play Dirty

2011-03-23T05:05:00.000-07:00

Michael Caine in a World War II film about British commandos in North Africa.

Good film, with a great ending.

Although, it has many distasteful elements. Most of which are part of the 1960s anti-war stance, I'm sure.

catching up on old films

2011-03-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

In no particular order, I watched the following films recently. None of them really need their own review, but for sake of full disclosure they are.

The Rookie (Clint Eastwood and Charlie Sheen)
Uncommon Valor (the movie that started the all of POW film franchises of the 80s)
K-9 (Jim Belushi and his dog partner fight crime)
Silverado (Lawrence Kasdan tries to prove he's a movie director in this neo-classic western that draws on 2+ hours of movie cliches)
The Chase (another Sheen film with cars, or A car)

Stranded

2011-03-23T04:42:00.000-07:00

Vincent Gallo does for Stranded, what Sam Rockwell did for Moon.

Except this movie has five actors in it. Well. Four actors and some whiny douche whose character can't die fast enough in my opinion.

The ending isn't exactly ground-breaking, but I do love a low-budget science fiction film that doesn't LOOK low-budget.

Moon

2011-03-23T04:30:00.000-07:00

I remember seeing Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest and thinking, this guy is going places.

And I was right.

This is one of the smartest science fiction films you will see.

Nothing more to say. Kevin Spacey plays the voice of the A.I.

There. I found something else to say.

XXX

2011-03-23T04:24:00.000-07:00

Good action movies will stand the test of time. Smart dialog and well-written characters become icons. Who cares about bad the explosion of the Nakatomi building is, with Willis spewing dialog and wit at every turn? What does it matter that Mel Gibson is a crazy SOB when Detective Riggs is such a huge part of the action film cultural landscape? Even though he hasn't made a good movie in two decades, no one will ever forget the impact of seeing replicant Han Solo killing Nazis for the C.I.A.?

XXX is not one of those movies.

At all.

If you remember the action being smart or fun, you are misinformed.

8MM

2011-03-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

Andrew Kevin Walker is the writer of both Se7en and 8mm (among others). Had a more skillful director taken on 8mm, his career would have skyrocketed as a writer. Instead, Cage and Keener try to breath life into characters that Walker purposes makes sublime animals sleepwalking through life.

At least, that's always been my take on it.

8mm, instead, was directed by Joel Schumacher who has been stinking up films for a long time. Even with Tigerland and Phone Booth (considerably his best movies), the films are both saved by a young Colin Farrel and two outstanding scripts.

So.

How does he continue to get work.

In researching this review, I found out Schumacher directed Veronica Guerin... a film with one of my favorite actresses of all time, that I couldn't drag myself to go watch. And now I know why.

You can blame him for Batman 3 and 4 all you want. For my money, there's nothing worse than watching him butcher films like Flawless and Number 23... movies with subtle scripts and dark material that probably needed a gifted hand to guide them, instead of someone who directs with a hammer and machete.

Christ. Even Tarantino would have done something interesting with 8mm. It wouldn't have been watchable. But it would have been interesting.

Please Give

2011-03-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

There's no question that director Nicole Holofcener likes working with Catherine Keener. She's cast her in all three of her girl-centric full feature films. And Keener is one of those actresses that is hit and miss for me. Granted she always plays the ball-busting, narcissistic, monotone "bitch" that I think everyone casts her for. The question is, why do people pay to see that?

On some level, movies are supposed to entertain. Even the artistic ones.

Why would anyone ever pay money to see someone tell them to fold their socks? Because that's what 90-minutes with Keener in this movie is like.

The script is smart. The direction solid. The acting is good too. But Keener pushes the envelope of annoying with this one. All the hidden meanings, symbolism, and metaphor can't really compete when your main character is in a bad mood for the entire movie.

Sad is an emotion. Angry is an emotion. One can even feel dejected or betrayed. But a bad mood is not an emotion.

And therefore it's not something to empathize with. It's just something that makes you eventually ask, "Can someone get this woman a midol? Please?"

Battle: Los Angeles

2011-03-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

There are a number of different ways to approach a review of this film. So in no particular order, here they are.

Battle Los Angeles. It's like ID4 for people with a three-digit IQ. Or Black Hawk down for dummies.

Join the Marine Corps and kill aliens. Yeah. We're that badass.

Come find out how to direct a good movie, even when the screenplay is pulped with 10 cliches per minute.

Holy crap. Michelle Rodriguez can play something other than a badass mother -- oh no. Wait. There it is.

Aaron Eckhart. Saving bad dialog. One line at a time.

Media Malpractice

2011-03-07T16:52:00.001-08:00

A conservative with a hair up his butt about the bias of the media makes a very long documentary/essay that should have been posted to youtube with all the other cranks.

The Fighter

2011-01-30T21:34:00.000-08:00

Amazing film. From top to bottom. I won't go into the details, because I'm saving up all my strength for Black Swan, but this film really impressed me. Bale and Wahlberg are amazing. Adams was luke warm. Not sure why she got an oscar nod. But Melissa Leo (Frozen River) was really the most amazing of the four.

For the uninitiated, The Fighter is based on the true story of Micky Ward and brother Dicky Eklund (same mother, different father). Dicky is a has-been fighter who once fought ten rounds against Sugar Ray Leonard (before drugs ruined his life). Micky Ward is a loyal, albeit slow, boxer turning pro... and not doing it well.

Amazing character study and dramatic action. Not to mention some really good boxing.

Better than the King's Speech, but not as good as Black Swam.

Black Swan

2011-01-30T20:29:00.000-08:00

Movie of the year. Hand's down. Aronofsky is the king of complicated film-styles, story-telling, and character development.

Granted everyone is going to focus on the lesbian love scene, but they are clearly missing the point if they do. The movie is a constant dichotomy regarding the inner struggle of courage and cowardice (displayed visually in the visual landscape of black and white costuming), which also reflects the white and black swans of swan lake, which is a metaphor for Natalie Portman's fracturing sanity.

That said, the lesbian sex scene isn't about sex at all... as Aronofsky clever does in most of his movies... sex is always about something else. It's about Portman's obsession with how Kunis can be so carefree and she is so inhibited by everything.

Portman is sensational here. But than again, she's in an Aronofsky film. And what did everyone say after the Wrestler came out? [Actor X] was sensational. Kunis is also good, considering how much I usually dislike her. And Barbara Hershey is phenomenal as the control freak mother who can't let go of the past or her grip on her child.

Winona Ryder (oh yeah, can you believe it) also makes a small appearance and raises her game a little. Vincent Cassel is creepily good as well. But the true strength of this and all of Aronofsky's work is that everything seems so effortless. I can't even imagine how hard this movie was to make. All that dancing.

Crap.

The final word of the film is "perfect." And I have to ask myself... is Aronofsky arrogant or sublime? Does he know that his film is near-perfect? Or did it just happen that everything came together so well and he never analyzed the gravity of this final statement on the film?

Rotton Tomatoes gave this movie an 88... and I want to meet those 12 people who need to be trepanned.

The King's Speech

2011-01-30T20:11:00.000-08:00

A true account of King Charles VI's stammer and his rise to power after his father passes and his older brother marries a twice-divorced American woman (and falls from grace). Colin Firth never really does anything wrong and Geoffrey Rush is one of my favorite actors. And of course, Helena Bonham Carter had to be quirky, even in her small role.

Emotional. Courageous. And very very British.

It was the weakest of the three powerhouses I saw this weekend, but that's hardly saying much against The Fighter and Black Swan. I could have waited for video on this, but I'm glad I saw it anyway.

The Mechanic

2011-01-30T19:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Simon West,

Next time you make a movie, please make sure your name is bigger on the credits, so I know to avoid your film.

Thank you.

- jim

Dear Simon West,

Was this an action movie, plot-drive narrative, or a character study?

Thanks for your quick response.

- jim

Dear Simon West,

Who was the protagonist of this film? Was he a good person?

Thanks in advance for your attention in this matter.

- jim

Dear Simon West,

Is anyone available to play aging criminal "fixers" other than Donald Sutherland?

Just wondering.

- jim

Dear Simon West,

Was this film enjoyable to make? Because it wasn't enjoyable to watch. I'm curious if anyone had a good time.

Awaiting your reply.

- jim

Dear Simon West,

What do you want to do when you grow up? I'd like to make movies. I bet you'd like to make them someday, too.

Have a great summer.

- jim

Dear Simon West,

Thanks for unburdening me of my $11. You're the best.

- jim

Beer Wars

2011-01-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

What starts poorly and ends even worse is a good documentary in there somewhere about the beer industry... once you get past the grandstanding of annoying self-important director, Anat Baron.

Anat Baron is the female, non-political version of Michael Moore. Or is she? She's hardly intelligent or interesting. She's not really pushing 90 minutes of information at me. And she clearly has a political agenda as you near the end of this tiresome documentary.

However, somewhere in between the bad minutes are a few good interviews with people with elocution, a mind for business, a quality product, and a real story to tell. Instead of someone who quits the industry and then comes back a year later to still feel involved.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

2011-01-27T08:11:00.000-08:00

Banksy rules.

That is all.

Samurai Rebellion

2011-01-27T07:47:00.000-08:00

One of hundreds of samurai films made between 1950 and 1980, this one is really really good. While Mifune doesn't bring as much to this character as he does other roles (and the sword fights are bland), the story here is very very complex. And the three main characters weave a rich tapestry as they deal with the constrictive bureaucracy of the opposing samurai.

Having thoroughly studied feudal Japan, many of the complexities and subtitles mean more to me than they may to the average viewer, but I still think people will enjoy it.

Class Action

2011-01-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

A 1991 Court-Drama that is only 5% Court, this movie feels more like a mid-80s film than the four-star recommendation that Netflix let me to believe. Peppered with awful dialog and mired with cliches, the movie is still okay.

But just okay.

It's really a family story more than a courtroom drama. However, all of the court scenes are filmed inside real courts, with real law being practiced.

And that was kind of neat.

Capturing the Friedmans

2011-01-27T07:40:00.000-08:00

Directed by Andrew Jarecki in the style of an Errol Morris documentary, this complex and an inconclusive documentary starts as one thing, grows into something else, and ends without answering half of your questions.

From IMDB

In the late 1980's, the Friedmans — father and respected computer and music teacher Arnold Friedman, mother and housewife Elaine Friedman, and their three grown sons, David Friedman, Seth Friedman and Jesse Friedman — of Great Neck, Long Island, are seemingly your typical middle class American family. They all admit that the marriage was by no means close to being harmonious — Arnold and Elaine eventually got divorced — but the sons talk of their father, while also not being always there for them, as being a good man. This façade of respectability masks the fact that Arnold was buying and distributing child pornography. Following a sting operation to confirm this fact, the authorities began to investigate Arnold for sexual abuse of the minor-aged male students of his computer classes, which he held in the basement of the family home. Based on interviews with the students, not only was Arnold charged with and ultimately convicted of multiple counts of sodomy and sexual abuse of these boys but so was eighteen year old Jesse, who was mentioned by many as the aggressor of the two in the acts. Arnold admitted that he is a pedophile, but that he did not abuse the boys in his class as charged and convicted. The trial process brought out the dysfunction that previously existed within the family. But the issue of Arnold and Jesse's guilt of these acts is hotly debated among the family, among the authorities, among the media and among the students of the computer classes.

Except for the run-on sentences and lack of focus, this is a thorough-enough explanation of the documentary. I do recommend it, despite it being almost a decade old.

The Parking Lot Movie

2011-01-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

Surprisingly amazing documentary. One of the best studies of humanity and inhumanity in American culture you will find. This is not the heavy metal parking lot documentary, but the three year study of a small corner parking lot in Charlottesville, VA... where college, elitist, and conservative cultures collide with the overly-educated slackers who run this one of a kind parking lot.

Unbelievably good. Pair this one up with the donkey kong documentary and you have the perfect stew of American culture.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

2011-01-23T00:42:00.000-08:00

That's right. This movie is so bad ass, it has a color and a "en-dash" in the title. If you don't know what an en-dash is, go ask a teacher.

Now. If you haven't seen the original Bad Lieutenant with Harvey Keitel, what are you doing? Get off your ass and go rent it.

Are we clear?

Next. This movie has nothing to do with the original except that the main characters are constantly on drugs. That said, Herzog probably should have watched the original, just so he could have learned a thing or two about just how depraved Keitel got.

That's right. Werner Herzog directed this movie. And it is really, really good. Nicholas Cage actually acts in it. And Val Kilmer even has a small role, although he's had better dialog/performances. All in all, a smart movie. But not nearly as depraved as the other unrelated film.

Operation: Endgame

2011-01-22T16:43:00.000-08:00

A disappointing attempt to make SALT funny. With all this talent, something good should have come out of it.

Sigh.

Ensemble cast, too.

What a waste.

Blue Gold: World Water Wars

2011-01-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Another documentary are water, this one is a macro issue, with about 2% overlap on the previous documentary. Vandana Shiva makes an appearance in this one. She was in Fed Up! as well, a documentary about food shortages.

Blue Gold is a vastly better produced documentary than the other, but the two must be seen side-by-side to see the full spectrum of the issue. If you are a small-minded person, this documentary will overwhelm you.

Tapped

2011-01-22T13:46:00.000-08:00

A documentary about bottled water. A must see.

Seriously. If you watch this and you aren't moved to change your bottle water habits, you deserve to be euthanized.

And of course, it ends with "if you want to learn more about how to, blah blah blah."

The Secret in Their Eyes

2011-01-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

I finally watched the 2009 Foreign Language Oscar winner. And not because it won the Oscar, but because of the premise. Ricardo Darín plays Benjamin Esposito in one of the most even-keel films about rape and murder you'll ever watch. The film is so delicately and elegantly handled from top to bottom, we only ever see Darín lose his cool once in the entire movie. He's like a machine delivering punch after punch of dialog effortlessly (although the opening 3 minutes of dialog are just garbage... not sure what happened there).

I remember thinking as I'm watching this film about a man paralyzed by the past and the mirrored themes of men being unable to forget their passions that Scorsese's Kundun is about the only movie I can remember being handled and acted so smoothly. Every one of the four main male characters is haunted and crippled by their pasts. Four bullets defined in the metaphor of a murder that never really happens, but that is boasted of, just the same.

It's truly glorious to watch.

Intimate Stories was another Argentine film I watched recently, again dealing with some of the same themes, but also directed so delicately and effortlessly at the same time. Really a great pair of movies to watch back to back.

Soledad Villamil plays the main female lead, chosen mostly I believe for her eyes and expressions than her acting acumen. She's not bad. She just brings so very little to the role, with the exception of the scene where she helps an interrogation. But everyone's eyes are so expressive in this movie (of course) that the issue trumps her lack of acting skill.

Carla Quevedo plays the dead girl and may be the prettiest thing to ever come out of South America. Whew.

What was I saying?

House of 9

2011-01-19T01:38:00.000-08:00

If you liked Cube, then you've already seen this movie. If you liked "Ten Little Indians", then you've already seen a BETTER movie. If you liked "Saw", you will be sadly disappointed.

Lacking on details, hit and miss on direction, failing on acting (in every direction), the movie should have been menacing and twisted and suspenseful. Instead, it's more of a drinking game or pool to see who will die and in what order.

The final minute was predictable (for minute), but maybe you'll enjoy it anyway.

Kelly Brook is still hot, though.

Hard Eight

2011-01-19T01:35:00.000-08:00

Philip Baker Hall (Sydney) is the man. This character study by Paul Thomas Anderson is amazing from stem from stern. John C. Reilly plays Sydney's protege trying to get by, despite his lack of decision-making skills.

Meticulously directed, I was really impressed with this one. Lots of parallels and interweaving stories. Metaphors abound. Dang. It really is hard to review a film like this, because I don't want to give anything away.

Just add it to your queue.

Samuel L. Jackson makes an appearance. And Gwyneth Paltrow phones it in, but she's hardly in the film.

Batman: Under The Red Hood

2011-01-19T01:30:00.000-08:00

Taking part of the origin of Joker, part of the Death in the Family story, and adding in some interesting twists that are wasting because of the poor reveal and you've still got a pretty good Batman story. Nightwing is always a pleasure, the Joker is sinister in this one, and Batman is almost a supporting character. Lots of bad dialog, but still watchable.

I do get tired of the illogical actions of Batman when it comes to collateral damage in the cartoon. I could like them, but I have two more reviews to write tonight. Suffice to say, that this could have been a 5-Star cartoon, but it's more like 3.5.

The Education of Shelby Knox

2011-01-19T01:25:00.000-08:00

Imagine a documentary that is supposed to be about "sex education" in Lubbock, Texas — a city of 200,000 in central Texas with twice the national average of pregnancies and STDs. Now imagine watching that documentary through the eyes of a 15-year old girl who believes she wants to change the poor sex education policies of the city school board. Now imagine that documentary takes three years to make and that 15-year old girl is now 18 and her views have changed and she just wants to get out of Lubbock, despite still being a virgin and making a "purity oath."

Now imagine it's 90-minutes later and you care less about Texas then you did before you started this documentary.

The Education of Charlie Banks

2011-01-16T18:34:00.000-08:00

I really like Jesse Eisenberg. Mostly because he's not Seth Rogan or Michael Cera. But also because he takes on subtle affectations for each character he plays. In the Education of Charlies Banks (a character study honoring the Great Gatsby), Jesse plays the lead character subsumed by his own principles in a world where those principles are hard to apply.

Sadly, this is the synopsis of the film on both IMDB and Netflix

College student Charlie Banks has to face old problems when the bully he had an unpleasant encounter with back in high school shows up on his campus.

Which hardly suits a character study or a two-hour film about college life. The fact that we go about 40 minutes before the "bully" resurfaces and the plot takes a back seat to mood flies right over the head of the marketing genius who wrote the previous tripe.

In all, if you like character-driven films with very little plot, you'll enjoy this movie. Especially if you like to see the underdog remain an underdog and never compromise.

Otherwise, stick with the originally tragic Great Gatsby.

Oh yeah. Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit directed. Just in case you wanted to be completely blown away with the non-sequitur to end all non-sequiturs.

Manufacturing Dissent

2011-01-16T05:25:00.000-08:00

Ugh. I hate puns. And this parody title on Noam Chomsky's Manufacturing Consent lacks all of the intellect of the latter.

In short, a few well-meaning, but skeptical Canadians made a documentary about how a perennially partisan milk-toast Michael Moore grew into the voice of the left... and without the principles the left really needs from a mouth-piece.

Complex at times, but never flattering for Moore, his team actually does everything they can to stop the Canadians from making their movie... which is the ultimate hypocrisy.

8: The Mormon Proposition

2011-01-16T05:18:00.000-08:00

I have several Mormon friends. All of them are amazing people, even those who have turned their back on the church. That said, this documentary does not make the elders look very good.

And man do they have some explaining to do.

If you care at all about gay rights, this is an okay documentary.

If you care at all about churches abusing their authority and tax-exempt status, this is a GREAT documentary.

Either way, the material is a little dated now, but relevant enough if you like keeping tabs on people abusing power.

Kimjongila

2011-01-16T05:11:00.000-08:00

While the title would sound like a parody/pun of Gojira/Godzilla, it's actually the name given to a flower in North Korea in honor of the "Dear Leader." This documentary is specifically about those people who have fled North Korea and lived to tell about it.

Hard to watch times, this should be required viewing for everyone who is or is not Korean.

Chisum

2011-01-16T05:07:00.000-08:00

I should start by saying that I hate John Wayne movies — usually. The Searchers is great and anything by John Ford is usually worth watching. But Chisum is a late-era John Wayne film. And while the dialog, direction, and acting are all questionable, the story and violence are all unpredictable.

And I'm saying this of a 1970 Western.

Sadly, it's one year after the Wild Bunch and it's obvious the director either never saw a Peckinpaw movie or just couldn't adapt his film to the changing horizon of Western cinema.

Ironically, Ben Johnson (from Wild Bunch) is in this movie playing the exact opposite character. In Chisum, Johnson plays James Pepper, a character whose only role is to feed stupid lines to Wayne, so Wayne can bat them away and appear manly. It's really so transparent it hurts my eyes to think of it.

The color stock is ass as well. Be aware before going in. Half the film looks like it was done with color-form paste-up. And the rest is a mish-mash of poorly timed action sequences that couldn't be refilmed.

All side-effects of having a TV director in 1970 try to make a full feature motion picture "talkie."

But with all it's flaws, the story actually comes out okay. It's a typical Western. Takes its time building. Villain is established early. Billy the Kidd has to make an appearance. Dodge City MUST be mentioned in passing. A posse is formed. The list goes on. But the flow of this two-hour story doesn't seem to follow the routine the way you'd expect. It's almost as though the film was trying to be a vehicle to launch a couple other careers instead of just making John Wayne look good.

[I hate John Wayne.]

Sadly, no one can really act in this movie. Even Ben Johnson has trouble believing the idiocy coming out of his mouth. And the rest of the cast talk like audition rejects from Saved by the Bell. I hope they were paid on scale.

If you choose to watch this movie, you've been duly warned.

Hitman Hart: Wrestling with Shadows

2011-01-16T04:53:00.000-08:00

While this documentary is not by the same team that made Beyond the Mat, there is one place where the two documentaries intersect (this one covers it in more depth): Bret Hart losing to Shawn Michaels in Canada after Vince promised Bret that the match would end however he liked. This documentary leads up to that fateful event, while the other documentary continues to tell other tales (including the stories of Jake the Snake, and Mick Foley).

This is one of the best WWE-related documentaries I've seen... and mostly because it's not self-serving to the WWW Brand.

It doesn't hurt that I think Bret Hart is one of the best.

Death at a Funeral

2011-01-16T04:47:00.000-08:00

This is the Afro-Centric American version of a British film of the same name. And it is hilarious. The humor is too smart for Americans I'm sure, but everyone worked so hard to not be a stereo-type in this... it deserves a lot more credit than it got. It's sad to see Chris Rock make such a smart movie and then go on to Grown Ups (which I didn't see). This reminds me of how good movies were in the 90s.

Ensemble cast of course.

Hearts and Minds

2011-01-16T04:41:00.000-08:00

Because I was three when the Vietnam War came to a close, I'm still constantly learning about this costly and stupid conflict. Made in 1974, Hearts and Minds was the nerve-wracking, jaw-dropping, gut-wrenching Academy Award winning documentary of that year. And because there is no narrator telling you what to think of it, and really a very loose thread tying all the material together, you are left alone to make sense of this nearly two-hour long film.

The final 10 minutes are the most poignant to me. And I wonder if Nixon died with any regret over being such a disappointing human?

Tron: Legacy

2011-01-13T01:37:00.001-08:00

Awful. Awful. Awful.

Go to the ticket window and ask for your money back before even buying a ticket.

Awful.

Joheunnom nabbeunnom isanghannom (The Good, The Bad, The Weird)

2010-12-30T02:29:00.000-08:00

One part Sergio Leone
One part Indiana Jones
One part Clint Eastwood
One part Sukiyaki Western Django
Half-part Tarantino
Two parts Guy Ritchie
Two parts Asian History
One part Korean ridiculousness
One part vermouth

Throw in a treasure map, four or five out of this world action scenes, the Japanese Army, some Russian artillery, Machurian gangsters, opium dealers, hot Chinese hookers, and a train full of baubles.

Well damn.

I can't even tell you how awesome a stew that is. This really is a slam dunk of a movie. It's like farting thunderbolts and your TV is a lightning rod.

It also has Kang-ho Song; my favorite Korean actor. He's just perfect in the role of weird.

Seriously this film is brain-scrambling good.

State of Mind

2010-12-06T21:46:00.000-08:00

A fantastic documentary about Mass Games in North Korea. It clearly demonstrates that Americans do not understand the complex issue at stake in dealing with North Korea. While certainly the country is a prison-state, the people being filmed were followed around for nearly a year. You can see them start to relax (if only just a little) and tell the film-makers exactly how they personally feel about America and Iraq (filmed in 2003). They are not just parroting their leader's opinions. They really do worry about just how far the American Imperialism machine will go.

Since I am personally invested in the unification of Korea, I am fearful of events like the recent attack on Yeonpyeong island. And think that our black and white foreign policies in the US will only ensure more entrenching by Kim Jong-il and his successor son.

Despite all my soapboxing, State of Mind is a horrible title for anything, let alone a documentary.

World's Most Dangerous Gang

2010-12-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

Since this is a National Geographic documentary it means they covered a topic that no one else covered, but ended the documentary with the audience more confused then when they started.

I'm not convinced that MS13 (or Mara Salvatrucha 13) is the MOST DANGEROUS GANG in the world, but they are the largest in America. If you're looking for a pilot program to test your euthanasia drug, look no further than this ever-growing, ever-stupifying gang of El Savadoran misfits.

Albanian, Russian, and Georgian gangs scare the crap out of me. Italian and Sicilian gangs earn the respect of nearly everyone in the world. Irish thugs have held portions of New England hostage for decades. Even the Mexican mafia has matched the strength of the Mexican government.

El Salvadorans are a menace, to be sure, but they are hardly a cancer in the system like the ever-present old school gangs of Europe.

I think they probably meant Ruthless or Unwavering or perhaps Friendless (since no one likes them). But dangerous? I don't think this documentary met the requirement of its thesis statement.

Casino Jack and the United States of Money

2010-12-06T21:27:00.000-08:00

Documentary about Jack Abramoff from the man who made the Enron documentary. While informative, it's not gripping, a little long-winded, and easily shows a good director coasting. Abramoff might be on the top 10 list of most despicable humans in American history and he only got 4 years in prison. He was out of prison, before I saw this documentary.

According to Wikipedia

On November 15, 2006, Abramoff began serving his term in the minimum security prison camp of Federal Correctional Institution, Cumberland as inmate number 27593-112. The Justice Department requested that he serve his sentence there so as to be accessible to agents in Washington for cooperation as the investigation related to his associates intensifies.

He currently resides at a halfway house in Baltimore, Maryland and is employed by kosher pizza firm Tov Pizza, earning between $7.50 and $10.00 per hour.

He is scheduled to be released on December 4, 2010.

The order of those paragraphs cracks me up.

Here is the news of his release.

Link

The Crazies

2010-12-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

The problem with horror movies is.

a. you know people are going to die, so there are no surprises
b. people make poor decisions, which leads to a
c. often times director's believe "mundane people" in "mundane places" makes for gripping movies
d. which is wrong, because if you don't care about the characters, nothing that happens in a or b is going to matter to us.

If you don't understand what that has to do with why I didn't like this movie, then you've never read this blog before.

Ultimate Heist

2010-12-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

Could not finish it. Stopped watching after the seventh pause in the flow the was stopping the characters from uncovering the plot.

Really, really, really lame.

I Love You to Death

2010-12-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

If you're like me, you avoid Lawrence Kasdan films after Silverado. In fact, I didn't even know this movie was made. It proved to be funnier than expected, but it's entirely misable.

The all-star cast does nothing to fix the film's inane act two.

War Made Easy

2010-12-06T21:14:00.000-08:00

Do you distrust your government? Did you enjoy Why We Fight or Manufacturing Consent? Do you believe that both parties and the media work to keep you uninformed about crucial foreign policy? Is the BBC just that much better than any American news organization?

If you said yes to any or all of these questions, you may want to watch this documentary.

Or you can just go back to watching Dancing with the Stars.

Armour of God (Long xiong hu di)

2010-12-06T21:05:00.000-08:00

In the states, also known as Operation Condor 2: The Armour of God, the history of this film series title is so long and laborious, let's just call the two films Armour of God and Operation Condor. Okay?

The short description on Netflix reads

Jackie Chan and his bumbling sidekick are sent on a quest through Europe to find a mysterious treasure held by a shadowy organization of monks.

Not only is this incorrect, it's also misleading, as the movie is really just four action scenes sewn together with some of the worst dialog ever. And an even less plausible story. Where Operation Condor goes to great lengths to be fun, funny, creative, and thrilling, Armour of God makes me wonder how the two films have anything to do with one another.

The chase city through the streets of some Italian/French town is really the highlight of the movie. You can skip everything else, including the poorly contrived fight with four black women who serve the evil "European" monks.

NOTE: This movie is the one where Jackie almost died during a routine jump to a tree branch. He fell and cracked his skull. This is the closest to death Jackie has ever been from a stunt, and it's so routine and boring, you wouldn't even notice it in the movie.

Breakdown

2010-12-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

The wife has never seen this classic suspense movie. So, of course I had to watch again, 15+ years since it's original release. Set in Arizona, a middle-aged yuppie couple are making their way from Massachusetts to San Diego, when their Jeep breaks down in the middle of no where. The wife gets into a passing truck while the driver waits for help. Everything goes wrong after that, when the husband can't find his wife.

Since it's a suspense story, I can't really tell you anything more. The movie is nerve-wracking and the lack of ubiquitous cellphones and technology make the thrills even more intense. It really is one of the movies where you don't know what's going to happen. The final five minutes don't measure up to the rest, but I blame that on a lot of things wrong with the 80s-90s view of movie tension.

Arena

2010-11-30T02:41:00.000-08:00

Because it's impossible to make non-cheesy science fiction, this b-movie tale would be so much better if half of the writing went away and someone put two more dollars into the set construction. It's not one of those "so bad, it's good" films, but it is one of those, "oh man, so close" films.

Chunhyang

2010-11-30T02:39:00.001-08:00

An expertly crafter retelling of a classic Korean folktale. I was mesmerized. My wife knows the story, and said it's a great retelling, but that the sex scenes were unnecessary.

I probably agree. But wow. Just. Wow.

Eight Men Out

2010-11-30T02:36:00.000-08:00

From Netflix

John Cusack and D.B. Sweeney star as disgruntled Chicago White Sox players who agree to lose the World Series for a big payoff in John Sayles's adaptation of Eliot Asinof's account of the 1919 "Black Sox" scandal. Owner Charles Comiskey underpays his players despite their talent, leaving the door open for gambling syndicate head Arnold Rothstein to swoop in. Some players have second thoughts, but it might not be enough to save their careers.

I finally got around to seeing this, some 15 years after it's release. Not sure what to say about it. It's good. Not great. I really didn't know who the players were, because baseball before Lou Gehrig is boring. As always, Sayles is a fantastic director.

Steel Dawn

2010-11-30T02:27:00.000-08:00

I rewatched this classic, B-movie post-apocolyptic action film that has very little to do with the end of the world and very little fighting. But I still love it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Bad acting, choreography, and dialog abound. Not to mention "what is this dog doing here?"

After Innocence

2010-11-30T02:24:00.000-08:00

Another fantastic documentary. [I watched three today.] This one explores the world of people imprisoned unjustly and released into a world very different, sometimes decades later after being exonerated for their crimes, but without their records expunged.

Revealing, depressing, and aggravating. If injustice pisses you off, or you believe America is corrupt, do not watch this documentary. Or you will be up at 2am writing a review about it.

It will seriously challenge your belief in the death penalty.

Cocaine Cowboys

2010-11-30T02:18:00.001-08:00

This eye-opening and shockingly unflinching documentary about the drug trade in Miami from 1979 to 1986 leaves you asking one question: Where did all that money go?

Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism

2010-11-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

Robert Greenwald presents another of his formulaic essays disguised as a documentary. While I appreciate the THINK FILMS brings important information and debate into the forefront of American dialog, it is ironic that a documentary about how impartial and right-wing Fox News is (and it is, there is no question), has no other points of view in it. In fact, not a single person interviewed worked for Fox News at the time the documentary was being made (back in 2004).

So the question becomes, who watches THINK FILMS documentaries?

Liberals and progressives, right?

Don't we all know that FOX NEWS is one-sided? What possible epiphany was Greenwald expecting to unearth with this piece?

The final nail in the coffin of it's quality is the length and the same final message of all THINK FILMS documentaries... go out and protest. Ugh.

Tired. Really tired.

Protocols of Zion

2010-11-24T02:59:00.000-08:00

What starts as an attempt to understand the conspiracy theories that incite and inflame people into believing no Jews were killed at 9/11, turns into a documentary exploring the roots of Antisemitism.

Using the debunked "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" as chapter gaps and a poorly threaded outline, the film fails at doing anything but show that Marc Levin is really really patient and will listen to anyone talk about anything.

I was neither impressed, nor disappointed.

Brooklyn's Finest

2010-11-24T02:55:00.000-08:00

Antoine Fuqua's best work. Out-f**king-standing. And I've seen Training Day. In fact, I've seen all of Fuqua's films. And this is just amazing.

Wow.

Fuqua should only do cop dramas. If he'd done Street Knights, it would have rocked. Michael C. Martin writes his first "for the screen" screenplay. And I'm amazed that it was purchased, let alone made into a movie, considering he has no pedigree.

I am amazed.

Three incredible performances by Ethan Hawke, Don Cheadle, and Richard Gere. Seriously. When did Don Cheadle become so intense? I think Hotel Rwanda stirred something.

Series 7 : The Contender

2010-11-14T11:00:00.000-08:00

This is my fourth viewing of this absolutely brilliant and scathing send-off about reality television. A little dated now, with so many shows having similar highs of drama.

Low budget as it gets. But that doesn't stop it from being one of the best things I've ever seen.

Will Arnett makes a cameo.

Born into Brothels

2010-11-13T10:31:00.001-08:00

This is what happens when you let a woman make a documentary. Ha. In all seriousness, this is an unfocused and very boring documentary. I couldn't finish it, so if someone dies in the end, I don't know about it.

In the end, there was 5 minutes of new information in this documentary and 15 minutes of good footage. Otherwise, it's a documentary about kids learning how to take pictures.

Red

2010-11-06T22:31:00.000-07:00

Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Ernest Borgnine, Brian Cox.

Yep.

That's my review.

The Town

2010-11-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

Interesting. Directed by and starring Ben Affleck. Not the film I was expecting. A little too much contrivance on the drama/romance end of things. Really smart research on the rest.

I don't have too much to say about it. Everyone was solid in it. Titus Welliver (from Deadwood) has a small role in it, and I would love to have seen more.

Blake Lively does good ugly… considering.

This movie is skipable, even if the previews were outstanding.

Cop Out

2010-11-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

Kevin Smith needs to stop directing. Seriously. I really, really, really enjoyed Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis in this movie. But the entire time, I'm kept asking myself... why does this movie feels so clumsy and uneven.

Films ends.

Credits roll.

Directed by Kevin Smith.

Ah.

There it is.

A Serious Man

2010-11-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

This is the most recent Cohen brothers film for me. I've seen them all, and this might be the most frustrating. And while the ending pays for everything else that comes before it, it does not pay well. And it does not tip.

The movie is about a Jewish man and the movie about Jewish duality through and through. If you are not Jewish, you might not even get most of it. And I fear a lot of it was written to confuse us Gentiles.

The movie is about uncertainly, Schrdenger's cat, and self-imposed torment of being Jewish. Let me reiterate. Self-imposed. I say this not to be offensive to Jews, but to illuminate a failing principle in many Jewish-neurosis dependent films.

Our protagonist, Lawrence Gopnik (I'm not sure if the name has anything to do with young Russian punks or not), is not a hero. He's not sympathetic. He's almost unlikeable. He is unable to make decisions. He has no will of his own. And he's plagued on all sides by people who do nothing more than reinforce ugly Jewish stereotypes. All of his torment is self-imposed. He alone is to blame for his misfortune and gutless life.

He has, in effect, checked out.

And all of this makes him very hard to like. And it makes it even harder to watch for 90+ minutes.

I can see why the film got accolades. And I can appreciate the art of it.

But I just don't like it.

Smart, smart film. Kinda like a brilliant math teacher that you hate.

Les 7 Jours du Talion (7 Days)

2010-11-02T00:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've watched any movies, mostly been watching TV series on DVD and taking a break from everything. This was not the kind of movie you jump into as a novice getting his feet wet again.

Les 7 jours du talion (7 Days of Retaliation) is part Lady Vengeance and part Funny Games. It is among the most disturbing movies I've ever watched and I'm not sure what I was supposed to feel at minute 100 that I didn't feel at minute 80.

This movie is just relentless.

Set in French-Canada (Quebec) and featuring subtitles and all those other things movie goers hate (French words), the movie has no music, no moral compass, and no tidy ending. In fact, you could say they made the last 20 minutes as difficult to relate to as possible.

This movie is not for people with heart conditions.

Objectified

2010-09-02T02:59:00.000-07:00

What I thought would be a documentary about iconography, turned out to be a documentary about industrial design. Fascinating at times, slow at others, this is the best documentary about "design" I've ever seen.

It's even better than Helvetica.

It's a great resource for teachers teaching any kind of design class. Highly recommended viewing if you are at all creative.

Shinjuku Incident

2010-09-02T02:42:00.000-07:00

Jackie Chan in a drama... almost completely devoid of kung fu... and he's a bad guy... and it's really good. Seriously.

I can't even begin to fathom how this combination of elements came together.

But...

It of course has it's cheesy moments and it's not a perfect film. However, the film reports on how Chinese immigrants are treated in Japan (and most likely the world over).

I was very impressed.

Thunderbolt

2010-09-02T02:36:00.000-07:00

Imagine Jackie Chan in Days of Thunder. Now imagine that the cars are the least interesting part of the film. And now imagine the last 20 minutes of the film are needless car racing scenes that go absolutely no where.

Add in two good fights. A photo finish you won't believe. And a villain who hurts Jackie's family on a scale you've never seen before. And then it's still only a 4 out 10.

Yeah.

It's that bad.

Winter Light

2010-08-27T22:56:00.000-07:00

As a growing fan of Ingmar Bergman, I would place this one at the top of the films I've seen so far. In one word: Severe. Bergman is just so on top of his game with this movie, that you almost don't realize there's someone behind the camera. From the austere cast, to the troubling plot, to the somber characters, filled with dread and ennui over the future moreso than the present.

Gunnar Björnstrand plays Pastor Tomas, whose shaken faith (over these last four years since his wife's passing) has driven everyone from his flock, reducing the congregation to a mere handful of people. His performance is masterful, even weaving his own malady (he was sick during a few days of filming) into the character's hubris.

Ingrid Thulin (Marta) takes the biggest emotional beating during the Pastor's harsh and unrelenting screed half-way through the film. I am stunned once again at Bergman's ability to write for women. Just jaw-dropping.

For me though, it is Allan Edwall, as the Hunchback (Algot) who steals the film with his one soliloquy in the final moments of the movie. I won't ruin it for you, but his dissection of the "Passion" as it pertains to physical and spiritual pain is what really finally sews the film together.

Allan makes Tomas look like a chump.

Fantastic film.

Stalingrad (1993)

2010-08-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

Presonally, I grow weary of anti-war "war movies." And while the atrocities of Stalingrad are worthy of discussion until the end of the 21st century, this movie provided no new insight into why someone should hate war. Everything this movie says, was said in Cross of Iron by Sam Peckinpah.

Precious: Based on the Novel by Sapphire

2010-08-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

While I found the title pretentious, this movie deserved every accolade it received. Mo'Nique was brilliant, Gabourey Sidibe was seamless, and the film was gut-wrenching. I'm not sure why you need a better review than that... or even more words? Seriously. This movie is a must-see. Stop reading. Go rent it.

Jeesh.

Salt

2010-08-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

Now this was as good as it could be. A very nice ending to the evening, after that painful lump of Expendables. Don't let anyone talk to you about this one. Just go see it.

The Expendables

2010-08-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

Not even worth posting on my site.

The dialog was dreadful, the story infantile, and the direction… just another 80s action movie… that never realized the world had changed and people don't watch films about ridiculous dictators anymore.

Funny Games (1997/2007)

2010-08-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

Austrian film-maker Michael Haneke writes and directs one of the single-most disturbing films you will ever see. It is a condemnation of violence in a way you cannot imagine. It is not what you are expecting and it is not for people with weak hearts, children, or the inability to watch something they are not being "entertained" by.

There is simply nothing "enjoyable" about the film. It is relentless, mean, and hard to watch… completely devoid of any measure of Hollywood "sensibilities."

The remake is shot for shot from the original, also by Haneke. The original is better.

Mother

2010-07-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

This critically-acclaimed film from director Joon-ho Bong (the Host, Memoirs of a Murder) is as good as everyone claims. Amazing. Absolutely, over the top good. As good as Memoirs of a Murder was, this one is even better. Hye-ja Kim is a top-notch Korean actress and the subtlety of her performance mixed with the boiling fervor of her more manic moments.

Bin Won, who I've never seen in a film before, plays the less than intelligent son perfectly. Flawless performances.

The final moments of the film made me laugh as the peasant "Hal-mu-nee" (할머니) dancing around on the bus. I'm all too aware of how my father-in-law views this "class" of older Korean woman and it made me laugh to see it portrayed in the film.

Not a formulaic film... even by Korean standards.

Finest Moment: Mother trying to walk out of Jin-tae's house with the golf club.

Far North

2010-07-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

I've never stopped watching a film half-way through to come and write a review of it, and that should tell you just how brain-numbing this film is. What is essentially a short-story (much like Solaris) has been dragged into a full-length feature (much like Solaris). The director has gone out of his way to take advantage of big, long sweeping vistas and film the characters in pain-staking detail when they are doing nothing. And then chopping through the story when something actually, finally happens.

I'm about to go back in and wait for the big ACT 3 twist... but I can pretty much predict what it will be.

Sigh.

UPDATE: Last five minutes were brilliant. Too bad the rest of the film wasn't.

Midnight Clear

2010-07-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

On Christmas Eve, four strangers face despair and loneliness as their lives take unexpected turns. Trite and overly sentimental, the movie is filled with Christian overtones and unrealistic pablum. However, it has a few good moments.

Stephan Baldwin steals the movie with a very smart and subtle portrayal of a man who can't get anything right, not even his own suicide.

I won't bother going into it, but I'll just say that the ending is happy, the tone is silly and glib, and it can't hold a candle to Blue Powder.

Powder Blue

2010-07-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

An ensemble cast of characters with semi-intersecting lives must deal with despair and regret on the days leading up to Christmas eve. While some of the "heaven" and after-life scenes were a little silly, Jessica Biel, Ray Liotta, and Forrest Whitaker give outstanding performances. Really surprising work, actually.

Eddie Redmayne is the (relative) newcomer in the film, but the most interesting from a "nerd does good" point of view.

It's an ensemble piece, which I love. It's down to earth (with Hollywood sensibilities, unfortunately). And the stories of despair and the forthcoming suicidal tendencies are all believable.

Sadly, the marketing text for this film gives away a good surprise, so I recommend avoiding it and just watching the movie.

7 Faces of Dr. Lao

2010-07-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

This was on the Cinemassacre top 10 or 20 movie list. And I gave it a viewing. I was pleasantly surprised. While the 1960s film style and special effects date the picture, the non-linear, non-formulaic approach to storytelling was refreshing.

I really liked it.

Barbara Eden is hot!

This would make a great, sanitized modern remake for kids.

Predators

2010-07-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

All you need to know is that it's the best of the series and the only one worth watching anymore. Lawrence Fishburne was a throw-away portion of the film, though.

Pollack

2010-07-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised that I took this long to watch Ed Harris' film about one of my favorite artists. While I generally hate biopics (see my previous post), I enjoyed this one... even with all it's liberties.

Some of it was quite accurate, like the filmmaker who comes out of the farm to make a movie about Pollack.

Other parts would be almost impossible to verify.

Stephanie Seymour has a small cameo. As does Jennifer Connelly. Damn.

Broken Arrow (1950)

2010-07-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Based loosely on the real life figures of Cochise and Tom Jeffords, this biopic is another in a long-line of biopics that embellish and dramatize, when the real events are perfectly interesting. Add to it the 1950s mentality of filming "Indians" on horseback and raids against soldiers and you've got a movie that could have been great, reduced to nothing more than tired platitudes.

I love Jimmy Stewart, but this was a little bit of a let down.

She's Out of My League

2010-06-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

I generally loathe romantic comedies, modern comedies, and any movie where the leading man is actually replaced by the leading sissy. Add in a pet, a montage, and a neurotic, self-absorbed Meg Ryan-clone and you've got the perfect film for me to steal the master of and set ablaze in my backyard along with Prince's music and books written by celebrities.

This movie has none of those things.

And in fact, it might be one of my favorite romantic comedies in a long long time.

Jay Baruchel plays Kirk, a TSA agent, two-years single from a breakup with his powerfully unfeeling ex (who remains great friends with his family). Kirk is not a stereotypical geek/loser that litters that detritus-strewn wasteland of Judd Apatow tripe passing as comedy. And the fact that Jay Baruchel plays the subtle boundaries between nice guy and a fated '5' so well, it's no wonder it failed at a box-office that has long since considered subtlety as important as subtitles and letterbox.

While formulaic, and it is every bit a formula, the movie has great characters, great dialog, and a "bridge" (what i call the scene in a romantic comedy where everything goes to crap) that is about as perfect as any I've ever seen. I watched the argument three times, it was so good.

My favorite part of the film is how Jay Baruchel never plays him like a sissy, a whipped-dog, or someone that ever has anything to apologize for. Unheard of in romantic comedies.

If you don't like it, I'll mail you a dollar.

Edge of Darkness

2010-06-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

Mel Gibson and director Martin Campbell try to bite off more than they can chew is this distracted and often poorly timed and themed attempt at political suspense. A smaller budget would have been the first place to start with this making this a better film. Followed by a director cutting out a lot of script nonsense... I still don't understand why he was kidnapped, left on a gurney, and then allowed to escape back to the place he was just kidnapped from 5 minutes ago. Who writes like that?

There's some really good moments, overshadowed by two dozen bad choices and characters you don't really care too much about.

Chop Shop

2010-06-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

Another film by Ramin Bahrani, Chop Shop is very nearly the same film as Man Push Cart, only a little better, but with a very annoying co-star in Isamar Gonzales. Set in the back ass of Jersey or the Bronx or wherever it is that the NY Mets play, this film follows the life of young Ale (and his older and stupider sister, Isi) as he struggles to make a life for himself amidst the wreckage of a Chop Shop alley, which serves as a metaphor for his fracture childhood.

Both orphans, the pair live in a small shack about the Body Work place run by owner and friend, Rob — a silly contrivance, but a necessary vehicle for the other merits of the film.

Much like Man Push Cart, this movie has no real "plot" to speak of, but is an interesting character study, showing how a child relates to the adult world around him, and young actor Alejandro is up to the task of showing how a child might walk, talk, and even count money like an adult. Damn. Just watch his hands. The kid is obviously talented.

And much like Man Push Cart, it's the quiet time in the film one truly enjoys.

I could write a very long review about this, but you really just need to see it.

Excellent piece of film-making.

A-Team

2010-06-14T10:20:00.001-07:00

Absolutely perfect movie.

So good. I was crying, I laughed so hard.

Julia

2010-06-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Clocking in at nearly two and half hours, this character study turns into a plotted tale around hour one... and takes you on a ride of poor decision-making via Tilda Swinton's starring role.

I can't tell you what to make of this. I know it's nerve-wracking watching someone make so many bad decisions for so long. This one may or may not be for you. It was enjoyable, but excruciating at the same time.

Everyone is really good in the film, at the very least.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

2010-06-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

Top ten reasons you should avoid this movie.

One. Let's stop making video games into movies. Video Games are better produced, more controlled productions with bigger budgets, better voice actors, great stories, and immersive worlds.

Two. Movies have none of that.

Three. Especially Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

Four. Or movies from this joke of a director, Mike Newell (who also made Mona Lisa Smile apparently).

Five. Jordan Mechner's video game story was amazing and still resonates among video game players.

Six. Why did they rewrite it?

Seven. Was it a good idea to hire Boaz Yakin (Dirty Dancing 2) to fix the original script? And then Doug Miro (The Great Raid), and Carlo Bernard to work collaboratively?

Eight. Which of those three mental giants decided to add Ostrich racing, assassins, two brothers (who do not exist in the original story), small business owner commentary on taxation, and events that would lead to the dagger (plot of the story) changing hands five times during the course of the adventure?

Nine. Why would you give away key details (like the dagger resetting time back as far as you'd like) half-way through the film so there's no tension over any of the characters dying?!?!

Ten. Why would you take such a fantastic video game and change everything about it?

Finally, I love Alfred Molina, but was he allowed on set when other scenes were being filmed? Because I don't think he's playing in the same movie that you and I are watching. In fact, he's doing everything he can to make this film even worse. The dialog was atrocious from round 1 and the movie just got worse and worse and worse.

It's not even a fun day out kind of movie. It's a bus full of special needs kids going over a cliff, very very very slowly.

Rolling Stone magazine gave this movie 2.5 stars... I assume that's out of 20.

The Silence

2010-06-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

As someone trying to understand the work of Ingemar Bergmann in the context of the 21st century, I have undertaken watching a number of his films. The Silence has proven to be the most enjoyable so far, but also the most difficult to watch.

As someone drawn to films with awkward moments, visceral emotional points, and unflinching candor, I am riveted by Bergmann's work, often in very obtuse ways. The Silence is an example of all three, containing in it many of those moments. In fact, for 45 minutes of the movie, I thought I was reading into it incorrectly. It turns out, I was not.

The Silence is — you guessed it — about two lesbian, incestuous sisters who have fallen apart from one another and now the older is sick and ill, and the younger goes about sleeping with men, without remorse. It is a movie you have to watch for yourself and determine your own response to it. It means many different things to many different people.

For Bergmann, it was part of his faith series (I'm about to watch the last of them). For others, it's a shocking portrayal of lust (although there's almost no sex in it, everything is exposition). For the 1960s, it must have been absolutely eye-opening and near-pornographic.

For me, I was shocked at how vulgar my interpretation of the film was, even long before anything "provocative" was said. In the end, my interpretation proved correct, but I wasn't sure where my POV was coming from. I also thought I saw some incestuous inferences in Through a Glass Darkly, but I could reading too much into his work.

Highly recommended.

Fallen (1998)

2010-06-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

The wife had never seen this old, fantastic supernatural crime drama. And so I had to rent it and play it for her. It holds up well, although the plot is kind of transparent when you have 3,000+ movies under your belt.

Still, everyone in it is great.

If you don't know anything about it, just rent it and enjoy the ride.

The story of Denzel's brother in the film is particularly smart and unconventional.

JCVD

2010-06-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! In JCVD, Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States.

Absolutely brilliant.

Seriously. Rotten Tomatoes has given it 85%... and it's well-earned.

Jean-Claude has probably been waiting for this kind of project for 10 years.

It's too bad, he won't be in Stallone's Expendables.

Taxi to the Dark Side

2010-06-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

Done in the style of an Errol Morris documentary (in fact, Standard Operating Procedure was about nearly the same subject), Taxi to the Dark Side put director Alex Gibney on the map. In fact, with his follow-up documentaries (Gonzo and Magic Bus), he is likely becoming the face of "thinking, left-wing" journalistic documentarians.

As for 'Taxi', it is disturbing, haunting, and like all documentaries comes out far too late to be of any use. Now, the material was dated in 2007 was it released (the war with Afghanistan over five years old by then), the I didn't watch it until this last week, so I'm even three more years behind that.

Except for the fact there was nothing new in here for me.

But, that's because this material has been covered before. In many ways.

What Alex does bring to the subject is haunting though. His film work shows poignancy and his documentary plays out more like an essay about why people should be brought up on war crimes, and not solely as a documentary about American soldiers torturing (and enjoying torturing) their victims.

The truest test of the narrative, is the thread of interviews and documents regarding a single, simple Afghani Taxi Driver who is killed while in prisoner, despite not belonging there and being handed to the Americans by the guy who did. Dilawar was not the only person to die while in the Bagram detention center (or whatever horrible and de-sanitized Acronym the Army chose to ascribe to this locale). But Dilawar is the most famous.

[Ed. Note — He was a 122 pounds at the time of his death and the soldiers who beat him to death had him chained in a position that would assure their safety. Yeah. We can all understand their fears.]

Gibney's work is good, but he's made stronger documentaries. I know this won an Oscar, but it would have been a better piece of work to see closer to the time of the 2002 death of Dilawar. I look forward to Magic Bus and others.

Man Push Cart

2010-06-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

Below is the marketing text for this film

Every night, Ahmad (Ahmad Razvi), a Pakistani immigrant, struggles to drag his heavy cart along the streets of New York to his corner in midtown Manhattan, where he sells coffee and bagels. In his free time Ahmad sells pornographic DVDs. He lives a hard life, drinks beer, smokes cigarettes and goes to clubs. Like the workers on every street corner in every city, he is a man who wonders if he will ever escape his fate.

It is off the mark, quite a bit, and in many cases is just flat out wrong. In the end, none of this has anything to do with the film. The film is a character piece and not a plot-driven story. In fact, there really isn't a plot. There are a few things that happen, but there's no thread that flows through the film (I'm avoiding the use of the word story here).

That's not a bad thing. It's just an important piece of information.

The last sentence is most troubling in this marketing text, because the subtext of "escaping his fate" is an underlying element of the film that one must discover as they watch it, not as the result of some marketing ploy to get the disc into my hand.

Film was good, but not great. It's not for anyone who likes plot. And it's certainly not for people who think Quentin Taratino makes good movies. Ramin Bahrini (the director) is being hailed as the next great American director, despite being Iranian-American (he was born here).

Anyway. The movie is Quiet. Slow. Thoughtful.

Killer at Large: Why Obesity is America's Greatest Threat

2010-06-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Despite it's awful title, superfluous subject matter, and odd choice of "experts," this documentary can add itself to the growing list of food-related documentaries. In fact, I think it completes the cycle for me.

It is a great introductory film on the subject, but it pretty much encapsulates everything you already know if you've watched the 20 other documentaries I've reviewed on the subject in the last couple years.

Song of Sparrows

2010-05-03T12:55:00.000-07:00

I recently mocked the marketing text for this movie on another blog. The text reads…

In this well-crafted Iranian drama, a broken hearing aid and a wayward bird become catalysts for a career change and sudden prosperity, as well as an ethical and spiritual quandary, for ostrich wrangler Karim (Reza Naji). Fired from his ranch job after one of his charges escapes, Karim sets off to get his daughter's hearing aid fixed in Tehran, where he's mistaken for a motorcycle cabbie -- and soon his fares and travels begin to warp his values.

And while this is "sort of" the plot, it has nothing to do with the film's theme or center. In reality, it's a film about an Iranian man who lets his pride override his decision-making. It's a great movie, done in the style of all "small" stories, especially out of the middle east. If you like these kinds of films, Song of Sparrows will surprise you.

If you must have explosions, move along.

Såsom i en spegel (Through a Glass Darkly)

2010-04-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

I am thoroughly convinced that I have met my match with Ingmar Bergman. I finally must admit that there is a film-maker who is smarter, more gifted, and generally more brilliant at every aspect of everything. Seriously. There's nothing I can say or add to his work. No critique or observation that will improve or otherwise shine a light on the worlds of his creations. He is simply a genius.

I'm awestruck by it really.

I still don't know what to say about what I just saw. And it's been a few hours since I watched it. I've been fumbling for the words and everytime I read some observation about his work, so concisely described and ascribed… I think… "yeah, that's great and all, but that's not all he was saying. God as a spider, crawling into my mouth doesn't just come from a place of questioned faith. Bergman wants me to examine this closer. He wants me to dance on the web of his creation and see just how far the darkness reflects. If he were just playing upon the predicated fears of existential longing, then we'd never leave the attic… and we'd never need the three other characters. Bergman wants to make us squirm and visit the same places he too fears to tread alone."

Any reviewer capable of saying that about his work, and know what he means by it, is certainly worthy of my respect.

This deserves more thought and analysis.

Chi Bi (Red Cliff)

2010-04-26T00:42:00.000-07:00

I'm exhausted. I've watched four movies today, the last of which is over 140 minutes and includes a 40-minute battle scene. Seriously. Exhausted.

Directed by John Woo, this is a new perspective on the historic battle of Red Cliff, which marks the end of the Han Dynasty and the beginning of the Three Kingdoms era in China. Rather than tell the classic, romantic tale of the Three Kingdoms, Woo takes the historic route, showing key characters (like Cao Cao and Liu Bei) in their respective light, although the wikipedia page on the battle begs to differ on this topic.

Link

It's late now, but I'm going to do some more research on this battle (and you should, too). After that, go watch the movie. It is really good. And Zhou Yu's wife is hot.

The Slammin' Salmon

2010-04-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

Team Broken Lizard brings us another ridiculous comedy, this time with a restaurant theme and a plot to make $20,000 in one night or they lose the restaurant. While Beerfest is probably my favorite from this team, what's so interesting about this one is the characters. None of the actors play typical roles in this one… except maybe Jay. If you're familiar with their work, this one is especially funny when watched from that point of view. And even without that perspective, it's still pretty good.

Better than watching Apatow pull a baby out of a latex womb and calling it funny.

I especially enjoyed Erik Stolhanske as the "good-looking" waiter and April Bowlby getting burned twice in one evening, trying to win the prize. As the obvious "hot blonde," she had no trouble making fun of herself and her looks throughout the movie.

Duel

2010-04-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

My vote for the only good Stephen Spielberg movie ever made. And among my favorite movies of all time. When you rent it, check out the original trailer... oh god... is it bad.